Love is a powerful drug. You are lucky to ever find it with someone. It’s more than just butterflies in your tummy. Love at first sight isn’t true love. So don’t get caught up with scenes from fabulous romantic comedies (which I enjoy to the max). All I know is that true love does take time to unravel itself with someone. The infatuation sort of thing that forms in the beginning is amazing but don’t let it fool you in the first months or even year of your relationship.
So what is true love?
Well sorry folks. True love can’t be defined. There isn’t a detailed manual out there that can tell you when you have landed the jackpot. Sure there are relationship books and articles on how to lead up to finding a compatible partner, but not about the one guaranteed way to finding the ultimate true love. For me, I think of true love as not being bound by our sometimes stupid human behavior. Say what? So what I mean is that we have our primal instincts. So if someone makes you upset you show anger towards them. Maybe someone acts vengeful because someone had humiliated them in the past. We all have these natural reactions and human tendencies towards others, but I think true love can leap over those boundaries. True love transcends over all and helps to make you a better person.
Have you experienced true love?
I think for a lot of folks, our first love in life was in it’s purest form because we hadn’t experienced heartbreak or even knew what it was. So we loved unconditionally and without holding the breaks. It was a fearless kind of love. Then for most again, that first love breakup ruins you but helps you learn more about yourself at your weakest point. Everyone has their different experiences but that is what defines true love for them. Sometimes it points people towards never believing in true love again or to that hard core “romantic” love. True love is love in it’s purest form as I mentioned before and “romantic” love needs sexual attraction to stay alive. I have seen many relationships that lost their first love turn to romantic love and give up completely on true love. That’s how powerful love can be when it shatters someone.
Don’t fret though! True love takes time and when you find the right person.. you just know but you have to be smart about it.
How do you know?
You just know. I have had a variety of versions of love. Let me share my two cents on what I think a few signs that lead up to true love are. These can a good foundation to work into your relationship:
- Sacrifice – You make sacrifices (small or big) for their happiness and well-being. You just love them that much that you will do anything to make them comfortable and happy. True love is always a sacrifice.
- Effort – Comes with most great results in life but both of you need to be putting in the effort to keep the spark alive and understand one another. Know what pushes each other’s buttons and work to not do that.
- You Never Want to Hurt Them (Tit for Tat Syndrome) – We all make mistakes but one thing I learned throughout relationships is that you never want to react in a rash manner to your lover if they did something to upset you. It will never go well in the end if it’s a constant game going back and forth.
- Awesome Happiness – To see your love smile and laugh just makes all the worries go away. You always want to do something to make them happy and that will just automatically make you so happy.
- Their Perspective– Even when you are doing your own thing you are thinking about how they would react in a certain situation. You are always keeping your lover in mind. You think from their point of view in every action you take.
- Keep Your Promises – Actions speak louder.
- Honesty – Nuff said.
- Forgiveness– It takes a strong person to say sorry but an even stronger one to forgive.
- Jealousy – How can you be jealous of your love if they accomplished something greater than you? This may happen with friends but it will never come between you and your love.
- The We Factor – You are a team and you lift one another up during rough times. During good times you guys shine. It’s healthy to have spend time away but with your true love you are thinking of a future with them and always are wanting them by your side.
It is all a gamble regardless. You make the choice to open up your heart to someone or close it off. Whether you see the signs in your current relationship or not, don’t fret. This is a marathon so take your time.